did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Congratulations! We have a period
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