Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
