Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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