Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
