My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
