whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
