All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
