I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
