Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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