She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We got so high we made milksteak
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
