I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
