My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
