I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
