awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
