he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
