its not stalking. its research.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize