I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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