Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
