..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
