when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
