Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
im six kinds of drunk right now
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Randomize
