So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
