So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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