Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize