Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
either way he was missing a nipple.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
