Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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