i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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