I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize