are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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