i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
