3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
