I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
