I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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