Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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