We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
