he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize