doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
