is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Randomize
