Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
