I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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