i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize