I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
