ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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