My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
