I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
