her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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