Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
