I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
