We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
