I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
