i was born a porn star she said
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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