How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
