Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
