the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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