Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
