She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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