Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
