yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
