hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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