I'm going to rape someone's good day.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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