John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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