I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
