before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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