well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
