I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
